C Prop. 16, Aug. 22, 2010

 

“Do not be afraid, for I am with you to deliver you.” (Jer. 1:8)

Fear.  How debilitating that is!  In some ways it is healthy and we have a built in mechanism to protect us if we should suddenly perceive danger.  A neighbor described how shaken she felt  when she suddenly saw a bear in her back yard in Bridgewater last summer, only 50 feet from where she was standing.  Fortunately, she was not far from the house and remembered to slowly back away. 

My daughter once grabbed me and pulled me back just in time to miss a truck.  I literally had to catch my breath.  I did look first before stepping out into the street - but this was my first morning in Wales to visit her, and of course, I had looked the wrong way!  I never did that again!

But fear can also keep us from doing things we should.  Our bodies are programmed to physically flee perceived danger.  In today’s society danger doesn’t always come in a form from which one can flee.  That isn’t an option.

Because this adrenalin isn’t used by our muscles, it can cause medical problems: high blood pressure, ulcers, nervousness, and immune problems; it can lead to substance abuse problems and relationship difficulties.  In short, it keeps us from being who God created us to be.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you”, God said to Jeremiah, (Jer 1:5) and David affirms that in the psalm.  “I have been sustained by you ever since I was born”, he says, adding “from my mother’s womb you have been my strength.” (Ps. 71:6)

Think of something you would have liked to have done, but didn’t have the courage, or thought you weren’t “good enough”, or “skilled enough”, or “prepared enough.”  My ex wanted to join the college glee club, and I’m sure would have been chosen, because he had already been part of  a high school group which toured Europe for 8-weeks one summer for Radio Free Europe.  But he was afraid to try out because they might not accept him, and he couldn’t face the possible rejection.

            How often do you feel unworthy, unprepared, incapable?  Afraid to fail?  May look foolish?  In school I always sat in the back of the class and never raised my hand. 

“You want me to do what?  Me?  I wouldn’t even know where to start…”  (You can add the rest to that sentence.)  We’ve all been there at times.  Interestingly, others often see capabilities in us that we don’t, or won’t recognize or admit. 

            Jeremiah reacted in typical human fashion when God appointed him to be a prophet.  “Ah, Lord GOD!  Truly I do not know how to speak,—for I am only a boy.” (Jer. 1:6)

Moses was minding his own business when he saw this strange fire that wasn’t consuming the bush.  Curiosity drew him, and he encountered God, who told him, “I will send you to Pharaoh to bring my people, the Israelites out of Egypt.” (Ex. 3:10)  Notice the verb.  I WILL send you.  God didn’t ask.    It’s a declaration of what will happen. 

Moses’ response?  “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and bring the Israelites out of Israel?” (Ex.3:11)  Who me?  I can relate to that. 

So God assured him of what God would do for him to help him, but Moses wasn’t convinced.  He even argued with God – no way did he want to do this.  “But what if they don’t believe me, or listen to me?” (Ex.4:1) he asked.  God tried to give him a sign to prove that He would be with him.  And STILL, Moses held back with a third excuse:  “O my Lord, I have never been eloquent…I am slow of speech and slow of tongue, Please send someone else.” (Ex.4:10)  God was not pleased with his constant excuses—he didn’t let Moses off the hook.  God didn’t give up. 

Ananias was told to go find Saul.  His reply?  “Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much evil he has done to your saints in Jerusalem.” (Acts 9:13)  He didn’t want to do this.  Ananias was afraid.

God created us, knows us, and calls us for some purpose.  We often don’t recognize what that will be, or we are surprised that someone else recognizes something in us. 

When the woman with the “crippling spirit” appeared in the synagogue, she never asked that Jesus heal her.  She had been suffering for 18 years, and finally had the courage to face him.  She didn’t have to ask to be healed.  When Jesus saw her, he called her to Him, not the other way around.  She was bent over, unable to stand straight.    She was incapable of leading a full life.  Jesus touched her, and she was healed.  He unbound her, so that she may fully live.

            I see many patients in my work at Hagedorn who are “bowed down”, not by physical ailments, but emotional and mental concerns.  Although their ailment may not be physical, it manifests itself physically.  They are physically bent over.  They walk slowly.  They shuffle, won’t look at you, are afraid to talk.  It’s as though the whole world is resting on their shoulders.

Have you ever felt that way?  What bends you over?  What keeps you from leading a full life?  What burdens are you carrying?  What keeps you from being the person God created you to be?

            God is with us in this journey called life.  What a comforting thought!  So— how do we respond?  The author of Hebrews said, “See that you do not refuse the one who is speaking…let us give thanks…”

            We are all called.  We are called into a relationship with the one God who shows power in loving acts of healing.  It is that love which breaks our bonds.  That relationship is founded on the absolute, unshakeable love of God.

            What does it mean “to be called”?  We’ve all heard the term.  Mostly, we think of it in a religious sense, in that one is ‘called’ into ordained ministry.  A church will ‘call’ a rector or vicar.  In our church, rectors are not ‘hired’, but ‘called’. 

Calling has to do with spirit.  It’s a word rendered as “breath” or “breath of life” in Hebrew or Greek.  It is that breathing in and out of the spirit that inspires us.  One can feel ‘called’ to a vocation other than the ministry, as to teaching, research, or medicine.  It is that which fulfills a longing for meaning and purpose in life.  It is one’s passion.

My daughter, in trying to explain her (to us) sudden change in vocation to go into nursing said, “Mom, it is something I cannot not do.  It has been in me since I was little.  I have to do this.”  On looking back, she had as a child voiced a desire to work with children; in high school we visited hospital nursing school open houses, but at that time she felt she couldn’t do it.  Years later, when it was actually much more difficult because of job and family obligations, she could no longer say “No” to her calling.

That is how I felt with my call to the diaconate – even though it made no rational sense, and, like Moses and Jeremiah, fought it for 3 years before saying “OK, God – but you’ve got to do it.  I can’t do this alone.  Help me.”…and He did.

            We all enter the world called.  “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you,” God said to Jeremiah.  That is true with us as well.  He consecrated us to be holy – to be one with him.  Yes, we are called – but to what?

God calls each of us, and each for a different purpose.  He also gives us the tools we need to accomplish whatever that is.  As the saying goes, “God doesn’t call the qualified; he qualifies the called.” 

Think of those illiterate fishermen Jesus called to share his ministry.  They had 3 years of training, of ‘seminary’ you could say.  But Jesus was preparing them for the ministry they were to have after the resurrection.  Before the ascension, he knew they would continue to need help and so assured them.  “And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Mt. 16:19)  He gave them the tools they needed   ”You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you,” he said. (Acts 1:8)

God calls.  God gives us the tools and courage we need.  God does not leave us in the lurch.

We simply have to accept.  At vestry, Fr. Jack read a passage from Frederick Buechner’s book “Wishful Thinking” about grace.

 

The grace of God means something like:  Here is your life.  You might never have been, but are because the party wouldn’t have been complete without you.  Don’t be afraid.  I am with you.  Nothing can ever separate us.  It’s for you I created the universe.  I love you.  There’s only one catch.  Like any other gift, the gift of grace can be yours only if you’ll reach out and take it. 

Maybe being able to reach out and take it is a gift too.

 

            How do you discover your own calling?  You don’t.  It just comes.  But pay attention.  Make room for it in your life.  Be prepared to accept the grace God is showing you, and say ‘Yes’ to God.

That is your gift.  That is grace.

 

 

The Rev. Margaret Forsythe, Deacon